How to Deal with a Messy Partner

You live with somebody else under one roof. It could be your lover or a roommate. Initially, things seemed to be great and you were seeing a bright future ahead. However, after a while, there is one thing that has gotten onto your nerves: your partner is messy and disorganized. Whereas you are a clean freak, your partner is a complete opposite. This has been a major bone of contention between the two of you as you can’t stand the sight of a disorganized room.

Living with a messy partner is not a walk in the park when you want to preserve a good relationship between the two of you. Here are the best tips that can help you to deal with a disorganized or messy roommate.

1. Define messy together

The first step of dealing with this problem is by getting a real definition of the term “messy”. Maybe your partner has a different view of “messy”. To him, leaving clothes in the middle of the room may be okay, yet it disgusts you. Sit down with your partner and define everything that you consider dirty and messy.

You should also be able to draw a boundary between dirty and messy. Having dirty dishes is quite different from having clean dishes strewn all over the floor. Have an agreement on what both of you consider as dirty and messy then from there your partner can start handling them one step after another.

2. Do not nag

Nobody likes to be nagged especially on issues that appear petty. No matter how angry you are, do not use your emotions to force you partner into becoming organized. It is obvious that a messy room can raise your temper but transferring such tempers to your roommate can result the opposite of what you expected. Do not ambush your partner about the issue.  Instead, wait until your temper subsides and then talk about the issue calmly.

3. Do some teaching

Not everyone was raised to be perfectly clean and organized. Some partners may be messy because they don’t know how to do things differently. Teach your partner how to clean the room and make it look perfect. Show them how clothes should be cleaned and hanged, how dishes are to be washed and stacked, how a desk should be arranged, and how to make the covers on the bed. Doing it with a positive attitude and in an encouraging tone will show that you really care for your partner and you are willing to get the best from them.

Related: 10 Ways to Declutter Your Home Like KonMari

4. Appreciate the efforts made

Don’t hesitate to praise you partner whenever something good in the house has been done. When you see your partner washing the dishes or folding the laundry, praise them. Appreciate the little efforts your partner is putting in to make everything look organized. Small compliments instill a sense of self-confidence in a person.

5. Remind them

Learning how to be organized and actually being organized are two different things. If your partner was not a neat freak before, chances are that it’ll take some time to get used doing things in a new and organized way. Early on, your partner may be constantly forgetting about cleaning messes or putting things in their proper places since they may be used their old habits of doing things. Under such circumstances, a constant reminder can be of great help. When your partner forgets, take the initiative to politely remind them about the proper way of keeping things clean and organized.

Changing a messy person does not happing overnight. You should appreciate their efforts and understand that they were raised or feel differently about organization than you do. It will take some days or even months and this calls for patience and tolerance.

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