You may have had a partner for quite some time and you may be thinking it’s time to start telling them everything about yourself, from the first ex to the most secret matters. Go ahead and tell them, but there are some secrets they should never know about at this point in your relationship. Below are some secrets you should never spill, even when you think you have grown very close:
Your Sexual History
Relationship specialists advise you that apart from health matters that are important, like knowing both of your STD statuses, conversing about your sexual history with your new partner is not the way to go. It has no added advantages to your relationship at all. “The number of sex associates is often part of a couple’s therapy most of the time,” says David Ezell. You should never ask, or speak about it. In most cases, partners prefer you to have been a virgin or celibate in nature and most are in between the two. But this topic should always be off limits even when this type of talk can be foreseen.
That You Think Their Friend is Hot or Cute
You should never tell your partner if you are attracted to any of their closest friends. It’s always advisable to keep this your secret. Gordon, a love expert, says that it can be fun to be attracted to one of your friend’s partners but without having any sex appeal to them. Avoiding such a conversation will help you build the best relationship with your partner.
Your Secret Personal Behaviors
We all do some weird things when we are alone which is very normal. Some of these behaviors; like eating a whole cake while watching TV in your underpants, should be kept to yourself. A love specialist, Erica Gordon wrote that such information has zero benefits to your relationship and therefore your partner has no need to know about it.
Your Minor Relationship Doubts
Everyone has a relationship doubt even if their relationships may be long, or new ones. You will find yourself questioning about minor issues which may make you rethink your relationship status. If it is your first time feeling this you don’t have to rush the news to your partner. This is because it will raise insecurity levels and painful feelings in your partner which may compromise your relationship. Most times you should learn to process your feelings unless things get bigger and stronger and then you can share them with your partner.
Disliking Any of Their Family Members
This is a tough secret to keep and also very important. You should not just say that you love him or her and neither should you say that you hate them. If their habits are bad they will probably be brought to the limelight and won’t worry you anymore.
Your Parents Don’t Like Him or Her
This will always make your partner act weirdly or even annoying when close to them. This will make them love your partner even less, therefore, it’s not the best thing to tell them. It will make them turn into a zero parental approval person.
Not Liking Something They Can’t Change
You should not be honest about everything. Not everything you complain about to your partner will be solved and complaints should not always be brutal to him or her. If you truly love them you will sacrifice some of these situations and it will bother you in a minor way.
Like Something Better About Your Ex
There is no need conversing with your lover about what you liked most from your previous partner. Maybe your ex-enjoyed better hobbies or was more fun to be with, regardless, it will probably bring zero benefits to both of you. You should spend more time in building on what you learned in your new relationship and not comparing the two.
That You Weren’t Attracted To Them In the First Place
Attraction usually builds up after you know your partner better. Telling your partner that it took some time for you to get attracted to them will not be that friendly. Both of you are apparently together for a purpose and so there is no need sharing about your past attractions to them.
Related: 8 Expert Tips on How to Kiss Perfect
That You Have Had Better Sex
This is one of the best secrets to keep to yourself. Probably you may have had better bedtimes with your past lover, which never interests him or her. This is not something to tell your new lover since they want to hear that they are the best despite that. You should forget your past and focus on building your new relationship and how to transform your partner into a sex god or goddess.
Negative Things Your Friends or Family Say About Them
It’s always advisable to not tell your partner about the bad reactions that your friends or family may have towards them. These things may be painful and not easy to recover from. They will never forget them and may use them as evidence that your friends or family never used to support them.
How You Spend Your Personal Money
You probably know that couples have joint finances while having their own bank accounts as well. There are a multitude of reasons why couples do that. But there are times when you really have to spend money on yourself when your partner doesn’t know. Telling them about how spendthrift you used to be may later impact you when you probably spend money in a bad way.
Thinking that You Wish They Were More Successful
Your partner may be having a profession that they love but may not leave them stinking rich. Or maybe you are asking yourself why they can’t try a little much harder to get a promotion. Telling them such frustrations may sound unsupportive and painful at times. It’s always good to keep such ideas to yourself especially if your partner has struggled in life.
How Much You Still Care About Your Ex
Showing love and caring about your ex as someone you once had a connection to will make it look like you still keep that relationship alive. This will never be fun when telling your partner. You should never hang out or even talk to them so as to keep your partner secure.
You Cheated On Your Last Lover
This should be a secret that only you know because it will make your partner never fully trust you. This is because he or she will look at you as a dishonest person. Try to avoid revealing this in order to build your current relationship and make it stronger.
All of these secrets that most couples have should stay secrets rather than going ahead and spilling out everything. Most relationships are successful only because of the care and respect that we effortlessly keep every single day. Always remember to be careful and thoughtful before telling everything so that you can keep your relationship alive.