Are you deeply in love? Do you want to get married? Well, love may not be enough. Before getting married, here are 20 important questions to ask yourself
1. Am I ready for this?
This may seem simple but the key to a great relationship is knowing oneself. If you feel rushed or pressured in any way, marriage may not be the best idea.
2. Is my partner ready for this?
Maybe you have a really good reason to get married. Maybe you just really want to be married. But if your partner seems hesitant, or you feel like you are pressuring them in any way, give it some time. There is no need to rush into this.
3. Are we doing this for the right reasons?
There are a lot of really bad reasons to get married. If you are not doing it for yourself, then it is probably not a good enough reason to do it. One important question to ask is if you and your partner have considered signing a prenuptial agreement. Although it may not be the most romantic gesture, a prenup can provide full control and protection of both of your financial situations. Be sure to talk about it with your partner before making a decision.
4. Can we afford it?
Are you both financially ready for something like marriage? For some people, this may not be a big issue, but planning a wedding is hard and expensive work. Make sure you and your partner are ready for that.
5. What would my family/friends think?
When it comes down to it, this is your decision. But if the people who are closest to you would have a problem with you getting married, that may be something to take into consideration.
6. Do you want kids?
Kids are a big factor in long-term relationships. Make sure you and your partner have similar plans. If you do want kids, think about how many you want, where you want to raise them, if you want them to go to church, etc. If you already know where you stand on these things, share them with your partner.
7. Do you want pets?
While not quite the same as kids, for some people pets can be a deal-breaker. Keep that in mind.
8. How long have you known this person?
The rest of your life is a very long time. Do you know your partner’s quirks and annoying habits? Can you live with them?
9. Do you trust this person?
If you feel as though your partner is keeping things from you, you need to confront them before getting married.
10. What are my future plans?
Where do you see yourself in five years? In 10 years? Is your partner part of that plan?
11. What are your partner’s future plans?
Making sure you have goals that will lead you in the same or similar, directions are important when making a commitment meant to last a lifetime.
12. Where will you live?
Combining two lives into one is a complicated business. Have some ideas and/or solutions ready.
13. Do you and your partner share the same faith?
Religion can be a very divisive issue, especially if kids become a factor.
14. Are you ready for drastic changes?
This could be from losing all of your independence and giving up all of your free time to having to legally change your last name. A service such as EZ Name Change can help but these types of lifestyle changes can be trying.
15. Are there any medical issues that need to be addressed?
Some things are on a need to know basis. Marriage is need to know.
16. Is there anything you have been keeping from your partner?
Secrets do not bode well for a healthy marriage. If there is something you have been avoiding telling your partner, sharing it before you get married is the only way to go.
17. Do you know how to take care of yourself?
If your living space is constantly a disaster or if you without cooking yourself a solid meal, you may want to focus on taking care of yourself before getting married. Marriage is the joining of two lives, and if yours is a mess you don’t need to be forcing that onto someone else.
18. Do you have strong opinions about the wedding?
If you’ve made it to this point, this will probably not be a deal breaker. That being said, if you know what you want your wedding to look like, make sure you share that with your partner. Going into a marriage resentful about how the marriage ceremony went down is not a good idea.
19. When you spend time with your partner, does it leave you drained or recharged?
You are signing up to spend most of your time with the same person. If you feel drained or exhausted after spending time with your partner, you need to seriously consider whether or not marriage is a good idea.
20. Do you love them?
That’s it. The rest of this list you can probably work through. It may be hard, almost impossible, but if you truly love them then everything will work out. Sacrifices may need to be made, on both sides, but marriage is all about love. If you have that, then you can get through the rest.
Related: How to Recover from a Breakup