Do you ever have days where you simply just can’t get the motivation to get out of bed and go to work? Just can’t quite work up the energy to get moving and go deal with your overzealous boss, but can’t afford to lose your job, either? Don’t worry, you won’t catch any judgement from me. In fact, I’m here to give you some tips on how to get out of work and not catch any flack for it. There are many ways you can go about playing hooky, but you have to be able to cover for yourself afterwards. Here are a few ideas that can get you those personal days you require:
You have a flat tire. Your car won’t start. You turn the key, and all you hear is a clicking noise. The biggest drawback to using your car as an excuse, is that most of the issues can be corrected in time for you to make it into work. A broken starter or alternator is a good bet since it’ll take longer to fix. Remember, the mechanic didn’t have the parts needed to fix your car, and said it could take until late in the afternoon, or tomorrow, to have them installed.
This one is a bit played out, but hey, it works. The only snag associated with this excuse is the doctor’s note. Most employers will trust you enough to take your word but if they require you to have a note from a doctor, exercise your best Google Fu, dig something up, and scribble your best doctor’s signature on it. Let me make a recommendation of a solid ailment. Pink Eye.
This excuse is guaranteed to keep you from work, maybe for more than a day. The second you show up to work with a red swollen eye (self-administered of course, not actual pink eye), no one is going to want you anywhere near your place of work. And even better, they won’t want you in a doctor’s office either to keep you from spreading your nasty infection. Besides, you still have medicine for conjunctivitis from when your brother had it a few months back, right?
Remember that bogus speeding ticket you got a month back? Well it’s time to go exercise your right to a fair trial and this one is going to take all day. For that matter, you may be able to get a lawyer visit or two during working hours with this excuse. Your employer simply cannot refuse your ability to defend yourself in a court of law. Again, if you need to, falsify a few court documents to show your boss.
It won’t take very long and it is easy to make it look good. Another method to using this excuse is to say you are a witness in a case for a friend. Call it child custody or a spat between neighbors. Either way you cut it, your attendance to court is mandatory and work cannot get in the way of that.
If you have kids, there are a plethora of ways that they can prevent your attendance from work. Even if you don’t have kids, you have a young niece, or nephew, or someone that requires your attention due to their parents being in an emergency…your kids are sick, your kids are unable to attend school due to a fever yesterday, your kid won a spelling bee at school, your kid has an interview at a college. All good reasons why you will not be making it work. After all, kids come first, right? Of course, they do.
The same way you use your kids as get out of work excuses, you can leverage your pets too! This works best if your boss happens to be an animal lover. Your pet needs to see a vet, your pet just coughed up something strange, your pet just ate/drank something toxic. No animal lover will be able to resist giving you the day off so you can help your beloved pet.
If you’re a woman and already burdened by your monthly cycle, why not at least take advantage of it occasionally and get a day off or two?
Don’t make using these excuses to miss work a regular thing. Regardless of how concrete your excuses may be, less is more in this case. Your single best strategy for getting out of work and not losing your job is being dependable on a regular basis. If you are a good worker, who is valuable to the company, your boss will be less likely to give you the boot over an absence here and there. Good luck, and remember, you do want to go to work, but life got in your way.