A healthy and active sex life is a very important aspect of any couple’s relationship. But after the first baby comes, it’s natural to fill your schedule with all sorts of activities that involve your brand-new baby and neglect the physical aspect of your love with your partner. If you enjoy your time as parents but you really miss having sex, here are some useful tips to have hot sex even after having kids.
Grooming for You and Your Partner
Some of the most common reasons why people say they don’t feel the same desire for their partners is because of their physical appearance. Sure, the love is still there, and it has more to do with their emotional and intellectual compatibility but being attracted to your partner will always be crucial to keeping the spark alive. After kids come into the picture, it’s common that mom and dad gain a little weight that is hard to lose or there’s not always time to look their best when they’re both busy changing diapers or feeding the baby. To rekindle the romance, take the time to groom yourself so you remember how sexy you can be. Getting a new haircut, exercise, or waxing are actions that take very little of your time but can make a great difference in desire and having hot sex.
Make Time for Foreplay, Even Hours Before Having Sex
Foreplay has always been a big part of sex, even for men (in spite of what people might think). While foreplay gets very difficult when you have babies and you’re exhausted, you and your partner need to work on it. If you want to have sex with your spouse but you know it can’t happen at the moment, give them subtle hints like a little kiss on the neck or whispering sweet nothings in their ear. This will only turn up the heat between you two and establish that you want to be intimate.
Related: Sex Tips and Ideas for Couples
Include Sex Toys in the Bedroom
When kids arrive in a household everything turns upside down and parents get to know up close a type of stress they never dealt with before. If you feel like there’s no “flame” inside you or your spouse anymore, try spicing things up with some kinky sex toys. Put your prejudice aside, because sex toys are actually part of a healthy sexual lifestyle and they can greatly improve your relationship. You can even try jeweled sex toys for your lover and get them on HotCherry. Just make sure you store them so the kids won’t stumble upon them!
Try Having Sex at a Different Location
Having sex in new and different locations will help the two of you relax and forget about your daily worries and just see yourselves as a couple wildly in love. For example, you can rent a boat for the day and go nuts, get a hotel room and do it against the window (especially if it has a great view), or you can even try crazier places like the beach at night.
Turn the Lights on
We know after babies your body (and your partner’s) can change a lot. While you might be tempted to turn the lights off to have some sexy time, a sex tip is to keep the lights on. Why? Being able to fully see your partner and let them see you is the perfect way to strengthen the bond you two share. You’ll connect like you did in the good old days and you’ll be able to use all of your senses to enjoy the experience. Most people have insecurities about their bodies that, shockingly enough, aren’t even noticeable by their partners. So, don’t worry about your stretch marks because your spouse will only be indulging on your beauty.
Play Role Games or Dress Up
If you’re not really into sex toys but you’re up to try something new in the bedroom, you can start with something as innocent as a role game. Sometimes what your relationship needs is to fulfill fantasies, to remind each other just how fun sex used to be and how it can still be something new for both of you. There are hundreds of costumes available or little items you can wear to get yourselves into the mood like playing doctor and nurse, teacher and student or one of the many, many ideas that you could come up with. Remember to take things lightly and just have fun.
Tease Each Other Outside the Bedroom
If you feel like you sex has become just another thing to cross off your list of tasks, you need to stop seeing it as a “bedroom activity”. Just because you can’t have sex right there and then doesn’t mean you can’t give yourselves a little compliment or token of their desire and appreciation. If you’re at work and you’re feeling particularly kinky, sneak a moment and send your spouse a naughty picture; send them texts telling them what you wish you could do them right now or give some gentle teasing caresses when you’re making dinner. All of this will make your partner feel wanted and will reflect when you finally get to have sex.
Communicate About Your Desires and Needs
This sex tip is particularly important because there is no healthy relationship without communication. Even though a significant decrease in your sex life is common when kids arrive, it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be discussed and tried to be mended. Talk things through to make sure you and your partner are on the same page and it’s all about being busy rather than your partner dealing with some other issues. Listen intently and respect each other’s feelings, especially since sex is something that makes people feel vulnerable. Communicating will help you come up with a solution to your troubles and increase your confidence in your partner’s feelings for you.
Having an active, happy and healthy sex life doesn’t have to be such a hassle. Even though kids can consume a lot of your time there are still plenty of things you can do to keep the spark alive and enjoy some hot sex just like you were a young couple again. Follow these easy sex tips and have the hottest sex ever with your spouse!