Breakups are one of the less desirable things people go through in life. There’s much pain, suffering, doubts and sadness involved. Some people say that relationships can be compared to a habit, so how long does it take to give up a habit? While breaking a habit doesn’t happen overnight; experts say it could take anything from 18 to 254 days.
Breakups are hard enough, but there are plenty of things you can do in order to help yourself get over your ex and heal your emotional wounds. If you’re looking to break the cycle and finally start living a happier life with new people and without your ex, check this article out.
Examine the Reasons Why you Broke up in the First Place
When a relationship ends, one or both parties end up feeling a lot of doubts, questions and even regrets about the other one. You need to sit down and evaluate clearly how your relationship fell apart, even if it hurts too much to think about it. When you start to tear apart every little event that led to your breakup, you’ll realize things you never noticed before, like important signs that things weren’t going right. Examining your relationship could also help you realize that maybe you two are better off apart.
Give it Time
The first advice we have for you, no matter how much you think of it as a cliché, is to give things time. They say time is the best medicine and it’s true. At first, you might feel anxious, angry and deeply hurt, but as the days and weeks go by, you’ll start seeing things clearly and get some perspective, even to the point where you might realize this breakup was probably for the best. Even when things don’t make much sense, time will weaken the feelings and make you feel more optimistic.
Talk to People Who Support You
It’s important to have a support system when you go through a bad breakup, or even a good one. Whenever you feel sad or confused about what happened in your relationship, call up your good friends or a relative and just talk things through. Ask them their opinion, recall very specific points of your relationship or simply vent with someone about whatever’s going through your mind. Talking with people about your personal struggles helps you get a new perspective and lets you get your troubles out of your mind for a while. If you feel like the people who surround you don’t make you feel better, you can also go to therapy and get professional help.
Breakups are the best opportunity to become a better person and make some positive changes in your life. Grow as a person by reading some self-help books about breakups which will not only give you some much needed perspective on what went wrong, but can also help you work on negative aspects of your personality. Also, work on being a better communicator and take some time to develop a new skill like, learning how to ride a bike, start taking cooking classes or do basically anything that will make you a better version of yourself.
Get New Experiences in Your Life
Ending a relationship doesn’t equal the end of the world. In fact, the end of a relationship is the best opportunity to get a new and fresh start. After a rough breakup, the best thing you can do is start meeting new people and make new friends, go out and meet friends at new places around town, surround yourself in a different environment so you can get new vibes and distract yourself from any sad and negative thoughts.
Give in to Your Sadness in a Healthy Way
Keeping your emotions bottled never leads to anything good, that’s why it’s important to give in to sadness. Sometimes your emotions can be so intense they may be uncomfortable for others, so you might want to stay at home at first and cry and scream your pain out. Don’t try to cover up your sadness, let it happen because that’s the only way it’ll eventually disappear from your heart. However, what does feeling sad in a healthy way mean? Don’t let your sadness turn into a severe depression or worsen it by starting to drink or take on a bad habit as a result of your emotions; that’ll only complicate things for you.
Block Your ex off all Your Social Media Channels
For social media addicts and non-addicts alike, having your ex added as a friend is a very risky situation. You’ll be tempted to stalk them and check out what they’re up to all day long. We know it’s common to try and post exciting things about your new life such as your new haircut and partying with friends, but the moment you come across a new post of your ex with someone else you’ll feel your world fall apart. The wisest thing you can do to avoid temptation and start living a calm life is to block your ex from all social media channels.
Focus on Your Career/New Hobby/New Goal
When the sentimental aspect of your life gets empty, it’s time to fill that void with other wonderful things going on in your life. Start doing whatever it is that gives you happiness and pleasure, most importantly things that you wanted to do but didn’t get a chance to do in the past. Always wanted to jump from an airplane? Do it! Want to travel around Europe? Start saving! You want a job promotion? Start working to get it! It’s time to focus on yourself and whatever you want.
Start Dating Casually, but Take Some Time for Yourself First
Most people wouldn’t recommend seeing other people right after you’ve broken up with your ex, because you’re still having strong feelings for them and it probably won’t come out right. Take some time for yourself and stay single, focusing on having many friends instead. When you start feeling more like yourself and a little more independent, you can start dating but do so casually, without any high expectations other than having a good time with new people.
Related: 20 Tips for First Date Success
Get a Puppy
When people around you have listened to enough of your stories and you’re still in need of company, nothing works better than a pet. If you’ve gone through a very bad breakup and your partner moved out of the house you two shared, it might be a good idea to get a new puppy to keep you company. Pets are the most lovable creatures, they’ll follow you everywhere and be the best companion for their entire life. Just remember that pets are living things and are a longtime commitment, not something you purchase just to distract yourself from your breakup for a while.
Getting over a breakup is going to be difficult, but it’s definitely not impossible. With these useful tips you should be able to feel better in a matter of weeks, finding the light at the end of the tunnel.